Will I?

I’m getting sick. I’m losing myself again and again. I’m tired of fighting myself off. It’s annoying and exhausting. When will this stop? When can I be free from this for good? When will I be content and happy with my life? When will I not want to take my life away anymore? When will I stop trying to harm myself just to relieve my pain away? When will I stop inflicting pain on myself? When will I ever be saved from this darkness? When will I love myself wholly and truly? Will I ever though?