Honestly,

Honestly, I don't know what to do anymore. He's been closing off on me again and it made me closed off more too. It feels harder to actually talk to him now. I want to give up all over again. I'm sorry because I've been feeling a bit down these past few days and it's taking a toll on me. It bothers me that I can't even reach out to anyone like how I always did anymore. It seems that I'll bother them with my problems and I'm scared of draining their energy and them leaving me after they realised how fucked up I really am. I'm trying to repress and keep everything to myself as to avoid myself from clinging onto them but it's making me feel empty and heavy at the same time. I want to express all about my feelings and love that I have but it seems so hard to do so nowadays. I'm scared of rejection. I'm scared of being abandoned all of the sudden. I felt it before and I don't wish to feel it again. I might break with no turning points anymore if it happens again. I hate these habits of mine to overthink and overanalyse about everything and everyone. It truly kills me on the inside. I'm so tired of feeling not good enough. I hate feeling this vulnerable and helpless. I just want everything to stop for good.