Sometimes I wonder when is really the peak to all of this? Whenever I feel like I can't stand anything or anyone anymore, I'm still here pretty much alive to this day. It's tiring trying to hold on to something that I don't want to anymore. It makes me wonder will it ever end? The thoughts of dying is quite overwhelming right now. That's all I ever think of these days. It scares me of how vulnerable I really am that I despise myself more than I already have. I desperately want to have hope to love life again but it's getting more and more difficult to reach them.