Do you remember when I once asked you this question, "If the world turns its back on me, will you stay with me?" and you answered with a yes. However, it doesn't seem like it now. You're not here with me when I need you the most but instead what you're doing at the moment is the opposite from your answer. You're turning your back on me too just like the others. All the hopes that you've been pouring out to protect and defend me are all lies - you actually threw those things away. I thought that you would protect and defend me but no, you didn't. All you did was put the blame on me and leave me hanging. You're unbelievable. How fatuous it may sound that I actually have been clinging and depending on you all this while. I even will protect you from this gruesome world we're living in now with all I have.
"Try to forget the past, life must go on", you said. But have you ever thought about how hard is it for me to simply just rip off the bad memory from me and shove it down into the deepest pit of hell then act like nothing happened? If it's that easy I won't feel this way right now. What next? Live happily ever after? Well, someone may live happily but what about me? Having to shut myself off because the memory keeps on haunting me for the rest of my life. Don't I deserve to be happy? Don't I deserve to protect myself? Don't I deserve to be protected? Is it my fault? Am I just a burden? What about my feelings? My pride? What have I ever done in my past life to deserve this kind of treatment? Did I kill someone from a Royalty that you suddenly turn your back on me and defend the one who made me this traumatised? I'm the victim here. And yes, I'm emotionally and mentally unstable; thanks to someone. The thing that he did makes me who I am now. Don't blame me later on.
I think no one will understand how depressed I am until I kill myself or just simply disappear from everyone's life forever. It's better anyway. I won't feel this way and you won't feel burdened to think about me.
